Most of us will know the much-loved story of Mary & Martha and can’t go past Jesus’ famous words to Martha ‘Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

The ‘one’ thing Jesus referred to was Mary choosing to sit at the Lord’s feet to listen to Him, to BE with Him. Many of us can relate to Martha and her focus on the tasks, and how much more so does our current society normalise the need to DO before we BE.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you DO before you BE?

Could it be that one of the core challenges that makes ‘being before doing’ so difficult is that it forces us to come face-to-face with our true self that we’re not always comfortable with? Many people have the ability to create an external persona (appearance, education, skills, success) that we use to both protect ourselves and to improve our self-worth.

Consider this story of a pastor of a thriving church plant who had grown up in a strong, healthy, hardworking family who placed achievement as an absolute priority.

When I walk into a room, my subconscious question is “What do these people need me to be so we can relate together? It sounds selfless, but I don’t think it is; rather, it’s my attempt to be and do whatever the person before me needs. I’m terrified that if I am simply myself, it will not be enough to foster connection and friendship. I’m terrified of rejection. So, I choose certain connection over possible rejection. I immediately and subconsciously look to adapt myself, my behaviour, and my speech, to best suit the needs of the room.

That means I basically spend my entire day wearing different masks. Not malicious or malevolent masks, but masks all the same. But when I slow down and spend time in solitude with God, before I can subconsciously ask, ‘Who does God need me to be so we can relate?’ God asks ‘ Where are you, my son?’ I have no idea how to answer because I don’t know where I am, or who I am, or how I am – other than tired. I’ve spent so much time wearing masks for others (my doing) that I’ve forgotten what my real face actually looks like (my being).

Our ‘doing’ doesn’t always mean we’re uncomfortable with our true self, however if it overtakes our ‘being’ or if it’s the priority in our life before ‘being’ then possibly we have to stop and ask ourselves some challenging questions. Take a moment to ask yourself - do you ‘struggle with taking risks because you could fail or look foolish’, ‘have a hard time laughing at your shortcomings & failures’, ‘compare yourself a lot to other people’ ‘often act like a different person when in different situations & with different people?’

If so, it could be that your priority of ‘doing’ is driven out of a personal need rather than as a product of your being with God and being led by the Holy Spirit?